Luke will always hold a very special place in my heart.
In the weeks following the fight that started the divorce, I was quite devastated. My soon to be ex-husband, Ron, and I were forced to live in the same house until one of us had enough money to move out. During this time, we were living separate lives in the same house, almost as roommates. I also took this time to start meeting new friends. I figured that I should just dive back into the single life head first. I wasn’t concerned over finding a significant other in any capacity, but I did need friends. So within days of our fight, I made a post on Reddit looking to meet new people. I stated that I was in the midst of a divorce and just looking for people(male or female) to keep me company. My inbox was immediately flooded with responses which is apparently a thing if you state that you are female. I didn’t state where I was from because I never intended to meet anyone in person.
As I was sorting through the responses, there were a few that caught my attention. One of them was from a man named Luke. Luke and I spoke briefly that night, speaking of our shared interests in Doctor Who and good beer. During our very short conversation, I also learned that he lived just an hour away from me. I joked that we should grab a beer one day and he laughed it off. We said goodnight and I didn’t hear back from him for a while. I had been so overwhelmed by responses that I was only keeping up with those people who initiated contact with me.
Fast forward about two weeks. I woke up one morning to a message from Luke just checking in to see how I was doing. I responded and we talked that entire day through text. We had entirely more in common than a man in a blue box. He was intriguing and educated. He was also the perfect gentleman. We talked for about a week through text. That weekend, he happened to be driving through my town and asked if I would meet him for coffee. I was so excited. I had been short on friends because my marriage consumed all of them. I was starting to feel a little attracted to Luke, but I did my best to keep those feelings at bay.
I drive down to the local coffee shop, order a coffee, and anxiously wait to meet Luke. He walks up and I realize that the picture he sent to me did absolutely no justice to how handsome this man actually was. We hug and he walks away to order his coffee. As he is ordering, I hurriedly text my friend that I am safe and he is hot. We then had very pleasant conversation for about two hours. I say about because honestly I lost track of time. Things are great and then it is time for him to get back on the road and head home. He walked me to my car. And then it happened. He kissed me. It was a kiss I felt all the way in my toes. For the last 6 years I had been kissing the same man. This was new. And exciting. And so very steamy. I was trembling from a kiss. A kiss that I couldn’t quite get enough of. A kiss that I wasn’t expecting. To this day, no one has ever made me feel that way. I wanted more. I needed more. We said our goodbyes and I did everything in my power to not invite him to my house right then and there. Ron was still technically living there for one more week.
Over the next week, our conversations turned out to be a little more risqué, but overall he still treated me like a lady. He made me feel smart and beautiful which was something that Ron had failed to do in a very long time. I was ready to see him again. I had a wedding to attend the following weekend in his town. We discussed meeting up after the wedding. This was also the weekend that Ron was moving out of the house, so it would be a good time for me to be gone. As the week went on, I decided I needed to be at the house while Ron moved out. I also decided that being at a wedding in the early stages of my divorce did not sound like fun.
The day came for Ron to move out. I spent most of the morning boxing up books and miscellaneous other things that belonged to him. Ron walked in the door and was immediately trying to have sex with me. What. The. Hell?! He had not wanted to sleep with me for the better part of four years. I would beg and plead and he wanted nothing to do with my naked body. So now it was my turn to tell him no. My verbal no was not enough, I had to actually back away from him. I was started to feel concerned over my well being. I told Ron that I was going to lock myself in my bedroom so he could pack and not touch me. He told me that would be no use, he would follow me in there. At this point I informed him that if he laid a single hand on me, I would be calling the cops. I also made a decision that would change things for me. I told Ron I was packing my things and booking a hotel to go to that wedding. This was a flat out lie. I packed my things and called Luke, asking if he would offer me refuge for the night. Of course he agreed.
I packed up the car and made the drive down to Luke’s. At this point I should say that this was a very bad idea. No one knew where I was actually going. No one knew the full name or address of this man whose house I was going to be staying at an hour away from home. This man who I had only met once before for coffee.
I arrived at Luke’s and he welcomed me into his apartment. We immediately went to cuddling on his sofa as I outlined the events with Ron that morning. He settled me by giving me very sweet kisses. The kisses quickly turned from sweet to passionate. And passionate kisses turned to wandering hands. And his wandering hands quickly led me to telling Luke that he hadn’t shown me the rest of his apartment. So of course he shows me around and I stop him in his bedroom. We are quickly undressed and he is buried deep inside of me. I had not felt that kind of passion in so long. I wanted to stay like that forever. The whole night consisted of very good sex then cuddling. Our pillow talk was very deep and thoughtful as well. We left the bedroom for a little while for him to cook dinner. I couldn’t believe that someone was actually cooking me dinner and that it wasn’t the other way around. We enjoyed a nice dinner, watched a little Doctor Who, and found our way back to the bedroom. It was a magical night for me. I felt loved.
I left early the next morning to get home to my dog. I was in a delightfully good mood. Luke and I didn’t talk much that day. I figured he was busy, so I brushed it off. The next day, I received a heart-wrenching text from Luke. He had enjoyed the time we had, but he didn’t think that he was capable of continuing to have sex without having a relationship with me. While I was okay with the idea of a relationship, Luke was not. He said that he would just be my rebound and that I would end up finding someone else and leaving him behind. He and I had lots of feelings talks over the following few weeks. I had given this man a piece of me and I felt like I was left sad and alone. He had also awaken a beast in me that now needed to be fed. I suddenly remembered what sex felt like and how much I enjoyed it.
You see, Ron was my first. We had broken up for a while and I had slept with two other men during that time. So before Luke, I had three sexual partners, but as of the last four years my sex life had been monogamous and fairly non-existent. This definitely fueled a fire in me that I never knew I had. I quickly made dating profiles and began to look for someone to replace the hole Luke had left behind.
Luke and I have actually managed to stay friends. He was always honest and open with his feelings, at no point have I felt like he was trying to deceive me. He is actually a very valuable friend because I know I can call him with a dilemma and he will tell me exactly how he feels without holding back.
Luke did help to create this monster, though.