Mommy Issues

Published June 12, 2014 by daisiesloveandpeace

So one of my friends asked me to do this:

Name a song that you associate with one particular time in your life so strongly that if you close your eyes and listen to it, it feels like you’re there? It can be positive or negative but it has to be something that you can’t listen to objectively any more because you associate it with this one particular time or event too strongly!

So it’s story time.


I was eight. We had recently driven to the CompUSA in a large city an hour away to pick out a computer for the house because there was no place in my decent sized home town to buy a computer at that time.


My dad worked offshore a lot at that time.  He didn’t have any set schedule, but he was always on call.  My mom didn’t have a job. She never did.
She started spending a lot of time on the computer.  This mostly happened at night. She would stay up all night talking to her friends on ICQ (I can still here the uh-oh sound vividly in my head).  I was eight, this seemed innocent enough to me.
It started to invade all areas of everyone in the house.  My dad was offshore supporting our family and my mom was asleep all day having been up the whole night before.  That left eight year old me in charge of me and my five year old brother.  I got us up and dressed and ready for school. I made sure we did our homework.  I made sure we ate dinner and got to bed.  At the time, I held no resentment towards my mother for it as I just thought she was making new friends.
Every night I would fall asleep to the clicks of the keyboard and the radio softly playing in the background.  It became such a habit that after she moved out I had a hard time falling asleep without it.
One weekend night I was sitting at the table working on a jigsaw puzzle while she chatted with her new friends.  The song “Truly Madly Deeply” by Savage Garden came on the radio.  We started singing along and she started typing the lyrics from it(“I want to stand with you on a mountain / I want to bathe with you in the sea”) to the man she was talking to.
Eight year old me knew that was a romantic song.  That’s the moment I realized my mommy loved someone other than my daddy.  That’s the song that sent my whole world and everything I had ever known to come crashing down around me.
She would eventually end up disappearing into thin air one day to be with this man 2,000 miles away.  He also left his wife and she started calling the phone number that was on the phone bill most often.  She got in touch with my dad.  They ended up happily married.  Yes, you read that right. Total spouse swap.

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