Well this one is going to get a bit personal. I guess that’s the point, right?
1. I have a fear of being a passenger in someone else’s car. This one stems from the car accident I was in. The driver was someone I had known for a few months and I trusted. When getting in his car I realized there was no seatbelt where I was sitting(there were two other passengers) and when I spoke up about this, the driver told me it would be ok because we weren’t going far. We didn’t go far, but we did go fast. I was in the back seat on the passenger side watching the speedometer needle go further and further to the right. When we hit the first car, we were at 140 mph. After hitting two more cars and spinning in circles, we ended up on the other side of the interstate facing the wrong direction. The other three people in the car were able to climb out through the broken glass. I thought I was pinned, but there was actually paralysis going on because I had just shattered my C7 vertebrae. I was extricated and taken to the hospital. There is so much more to this story, maybe I will turn it into a full post one day.
2. I have a fear of doing something stupid in public and getting caught. While I may take some risks in my private life, I will never do anything in the public eye. This fear stems from being 15 in a small-ish town where my dad new nearly everyone. My first kiss took place in a movie theater and apparently someone who my dad knew witnessed it. I was grounded over this incident. Now I try to be very aware of WHO is around me.
3. I have a fear of being on top during sex. I know that this is a strange one, but it has caused me severe anxiety. I’ve stated before that I lost my virginity to the man I eventually married. Let’s visit that night for a moment. I was 19 and obviously inexperienced. We started with the traditional missionary, but then he asked me to climb on top(remember this is my first time). So I did and I was on my knees, but that’s not what he wanted. He wanted me squatting? I don’t remember it in great detail because my mind has blocked it out. He yelled at me because I was doing it wrong. I cried and cried. That was not how I wanted my first time to go. I should have broken up with him then, but nope, I went on to marry this winner. Lesson learned.