With Grace and Tact

Published April 6, 2015 by daisiesloveandpeace

Earlier this school year, I had a sit down with my assistant principal about some things going on.  She mentioned that even with all of the shit that had been thrown at me, I handled things with grace and tact. Even if I didn’t realize it, which I didn’t.  I’ve also realized that I am pretty good at it outside of work as well.

I’ve been dealing with being friendzoned by the Unicorm. We’ve been spending a lot of Saturday nights out having drinks and dancing. And by dancing, I mean a little bump and grind to try to get him to sleep with me again.  Two weeks ago, in his drunken state, the Unicorn said he wanted me, he really did but there was something preventing him from sleeping in my bed.  He finally came out and said he thought he had gotten scabies from a hotel bed the last time he had a night out with the boys. I wasn’t happy that he had scabies, but I was happy that my plan was going to work given a little more time.  Then last weekend I shared this story with him.  He response to that didn’t match the previous weekends drunken talk at all.

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So what the hell happened between these two conversations?  I was beginning to think he may be seeing someone, but not telling me. It finally really sunk in that this may very well be the end. Then this happened this week on Thursday:

grace 3 grace 4

We ended up deciding on dinner and drinks and dancing. I wasn’t nearly as excited as I usually am. I still wanted to go though because he’s the only dance partner I have!  I knew from these texts that there was definitely a girl in the picture. On Friday evening it was definitely confirmed when he said he wouldn’t be able to text because he was having company.

He picked me up Saturday night and of course I was looking stunning.  We had a drink at my place before heading out.  I asked for the details of his Friday night with this new girl.  He told me that they had fun and he really enjoyed hanging out with her. He also said they had been talking for about three weeks and this wasn’t the first time that they had hung out. They met on tinder by the way.  So he didn’t want to sleep with me because of the scabies, but had no problem being with her?  I smell lies, but I didn’t say anything.

We went to a nice a dinner.  The whole time we were at dinner she was texting him. She’s a bit of a needy, manipulative 20 year old girl. Yes girl, not woman.  To make the long dinner story short, she basically was manipulating him into saying that he wanted more than sex with her. Did he? Because remember he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. He likes her. Enough to end his play period right now. So they are basically having the determine the relationship talk while we are at dinner, except she doesn’t know that he’s out with me.  Not only did I show that I was happy for him, I was helping him determine the right things to say. Grace and tact.

We are leaving dinner to head to our normal dancing destination and I ask him if he is sure that’s what he wants as he is now basically in a relationship. He was very hesitant and then I made the decision for him. Basically I said fuck it, this is like your last night of being a free man. Let’s enjoy it!

We ended up at our dance place, but being the night before Easter it was completely empty. We had one drink and decided that we did not want to be literally the only couple dancing in an empty bar so we would leave. But we weren’t going home. No. We went to the strip club. That was quite the experience. I’ve been to strip clubs before, but this just felt all wrong to me. I’m not sure if it was the place or who I was with, but I just couldn’t enjoy myself.

We stayed until closing and then headed back to my place. He walked me in and I hugged him tightly, knowing damn good and well that this is probably the end, and we went our separate ways.


In the midst of all of this, there are other things that are making it fairly easy to cope. I’ve had interest from other men that doesn’t include a quick fuck. I’ve had an eHarmony account for a little less than a year now, but I never sign in. I met a guy on there in May of last year and he quickly broke my heart. I put it on the shelf because I wasn’t ready for that kind of pain. And the way eHarmony is set up, once you start talking to someone it either leads to a relationship or no where. This is not for a friends with benefits situation.  I’ve decided it was time to put myself back out there. I signed in a few weeks ago and started the process with a bunch of guys. I got a few bites back, but it ended up dwindling down to one that was interested in me and also held my interest. Let’s call him Gigs. I’ve been trying to be patient and do everything right with him. We exchanged several lengthy messages over about two weeks. I really wanted to just give him my number, but I played it cool and waited for him to ask. On Friday evening, I finally got a message with his number in it.  We’ve been texting a bit since then. And then yesterday he did something that no one ever does anymore. He called me. We were on the phone for two and a half hours, but it didn’t feel that way. I was laughing pretty much the whole time. It would have continued except I got a nice surprise visit from the bestie. I really, really like this guy.

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