How to love your depressed lover

Published June 9, 2015 by daisiesloveandpeace

I found this a few months ago and saved it. It didn’t have an author listed and I haven’t found the original. I felt like it was relevant as I just rediscovered it today.

Last night I thought I kissed the loneliness from out your belly button.

I thought I did, but later you sat up, all bones and restless hands, and told me there is a knot in your body that I cannot undo.

I never know what to say to these things.

“It’s okay.”

“Come back to bed.”

“Please don’t go away again.”

Sometimes you are gone for days at a time and it is all I can do not to call the police, file a missing person’s report, even though you are right there, still sleeping next to me in bed.

But your eyes are like an empty house in winter: lights left on to scare away intruders.

Except in this case I am the intruder and you are already locked up so tight that no one could possibly jimmy their way in.

Last night I thought I gave you a reason not to be so sad when I held your body like a high note and we both trembled from the effort.

Some people, though, are sad against all reason, all sensibility, all love.

I know better now.

I know what to say to the things you admit to me in the dark, all bones and restless hands.

“It’s okay.”

“You can stay in bed.”

“Please come back to me again.”


One comment on “How to love your depressed lover

  • I sense the letter may be describing the situation that you are in. Finding it means something.

    I am sure that it is quite tough. When someone you care about is not doing well, it is also hard to take care of oneself. If you, are in effect, the caretaker, there may be as much or more stress on you than the other. Seeing scenes similar to what I think is being described, I know the toll it took on others. I feel for you.

    We both know that you can not control or want to control the other. I heard a term tough love in twelve step programs.

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