Fourth Time Around

Published November 2, 2015 by daisiesloveandpeace

So this weird thing happened last night. I noticed that Gigs had unfriended me on everything possible.  I haven’t spoken to him since the week I broke up with him two months ago, but for some reason this hit me where it hurts.  I texted my friend H about it and then let it go.  H didn’t respond until he saw me at work this morning.  He wanted to know why it mattered.  So I really had to stop and think about it. Why would it matter? I think it boils down to control. I don’t like being kicked out of someone else’s life on their terms. I want it to be on my terms.  I love deeply, and even if I don’t want to be with someone, I still love them.  H brought up the fact that I was still sleeping with Ron even after we divorced.  It was a very introspective conversation.

I’ve got a few weird things going on right now that I am not quite ready to write about.

Tonight is a lonely night. The loneliness that physically hurts.

H has been immersing me in Bob Dylan lately, he thought this song matched what was going on.  I just kind of like the song.


One comment on “Fourth Time Around

  • I know that this is tough for you, but perhaps considering a few things may help?

    First – there is nothing wrong with “being alone.” You do not have to define yourself by your relationship. Take advantage of this time to reacquaint yourself with you! Rediscover your passions, your freedom of living your life for you on your terms.

    Second – control is typically an illusion, especially when it comes to social media. The only thing you can control is yourself, so going back to the first point that is where your focus should lie. No illusion there, mainly because you cannot “hide” from yourself.

    Sending *virtual hugs* your way and positive thoughts!

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