So this weird thing happened last night. I noticed that Gigs had unfriended me on everything possible. I haven’t spoken to him since the week I broke up with him two months ago, but for some reason this hit me where it hurts. I texted my friend H about it and then let it go. H didn’t respond until he saw me at work this morning. He wanted to know why it mattered. So I really had to stop and think about it. Why would it matter? I think it boils down to control. I don’t like being kicked out of someone else’s life on their terms. I want it to be on my terms. I love deeply, and even if I don’t want to be with someone, I still love them. H brought up the fact that I was still sleeping with Ron even after we divorced. It was a very introspective conversation.
I’ve got a few weird things going on right now that I am not quite ready to write about.
Tonight is a lonely night. The loneliness that physically hurts.
H has been immersing me in Bob Dylan lately, he thought this song matched what was going on. I just kind of like the song.