It’s weird how some memories are so vivid and seem to stick around forever. Let’s take this back a few years. Okay, more than a few. Imagine a very young Daisy. I was in band class in 7th grade. I played clarinet, so I was sitting in the row behind my best friend who played the flute. Someone asked her who her best friend was. And she responded with the name of someone else in our group of friends. The same person asked her if she had more than one best friend. She responded that it wasn’t possible to have more than one best friend. I was absolutely heartbroken. I went home crying that day because the person I considered my best friend didn’t consider me hers. I cried to my stepmom who told me that it was only temporary, one day I would find my soulmate and he would be my best friend and no one else would matter. I took that to heart. That day will always live on forever in my mind.
Now, I really have to disagree with my stepmom on what she said that day. I was so happy when I found Ron because I thought I had found my best friend for the rest of my life. I pretty much quit trying to maintain friendships with very many other people. Obviously that made for a rough time when we divorced. But why did this conversation pop into my mind?
I had a rough day yesterday. My anxiety was a little out of control. My friend H unintentionally hurt my feelings. It was a very petty thing, but it hurt. And with my anxiety at the level it was, it sent me straight over the edge. I wound up a crying mess in his office after school. I felt absolutely stupid. I was basically jealous of someone else he was inviting to hang out with us as a group. He told me that I shouldn’t worry, I was still his BFF. And it sent me back to that conversation from 7th grade. He wasn’t trying to replace me, and he does consider me high up on his list of friends. He’s a pretty amazing friend. He actually FaceTimed me once I got home to make sure I had stopped crying. And then I went out with Glen last night who I have been friends with for a very long time. I am a very lucky girl to be surrounded by so many amazing people.
This does also tie into another thing that happened this week. It’s time to revisit the AJ situation. We were supposed to meet Wednesday for board gaming. Contact was fairly sparse, then on Tuesday we had the following exchange:
We decided to still get together and game, but we moved it to today instead because weekdays suck for both of us. We met for lunch and then he came over and we played this really awesome game called Forbidden Desert. Fun was had by all and the conversation never stops flowing. So I definitely have another friend in my corner. H thought it was a bad idea to stay friends, he thought I should cut ties and move on. I’m pretty glad I didn’t listen. He thought I would eventually develop unrequited feelings, but I don’t see that happening. I haven’t felt anything yet, and I have never grown to have feelings for someone. So I think I’m safe.