The One that got away

Published March 21, 2016 by daisiesloveandpeace

Things have been a little strange.  Everything in life really does seem to be(or is) cyclical.  It was this time last year that I met Gigs and said goodbye to the Unicorn.  I felt like I had a hold on my life at this point last year.

So one year later, what’s going on?

-I’m starting to feel healthy again.  I’ve been mostly maintaining the gym and diet routine.  I have so much support now, that I’ve never had before.

-I feel very confident with where I am at work.  I love my job and I love going to work everyday.

-I applied to grad school.  I have an interview a week from today!

-The Unicorn sent me a message yesterday.  He’s still seeing the same girl that he met on Tinder this time last year, but it sounds like he’s been missing friend times.  I’m going to meet him for a drink tonight.  It should be interesting.

-I’ll likely have a first date with a guy at some point this week from okc(yeah, I am back to that). I haven’t named him yet, but I am quite intrigued. Cautiously optimistic.

-I ran into Zeus last week when I was out with some friends.  He kissed me on the forehead in front of all of them(who he’d never met). It was weird, daddy-like, and….weird.

-Funny story: I finally got laid a couple of weekends ago(a repeat lover).  He happened to look down while I was going down on him and notice something strange…I had my mouth around the head and my hand around the base like I’ve always done.  Apparently I also stuck out my pinky while gripping the base.  I can only imagine that I’ve probably always done that, but it’s the first time it has been noticed.  He said it was a classy blowjob.  Pinkies up!

Then there is today, which is going to be the heart of this post.  Through middle and high school, I dated a guy named Mikey.  I broke his poor heart several times.  To this day, I couldn’t really tell you why.  A lot of it had to do with the fact that he is black and I live in the South.  My family didn’t take well to that idea and that was a lot of pressure on me.  I think I got bored or something, but we always stayed friends, and we always kept in touch.  He will always have a piece of my heart, and I am pretty sure I will always have a piece of his.  I often say that I should have married him instead of Ron and my life would be so much different now.  He’s moved out of state and has a serious relationship going on, but I still talk to him from time to time, and I definitely still miss him.  I sent him a random message yesterday to check on him and we had a very short chat.  Then this morning he said he dreamed of me last night. I asked for the details, thinking it would be a steamy sex dream, but I was surprised by what I got:

“We were on the beach here in *place he lives now* on the lake.  I try to go there a couple times a week on clear days.  Something about the horizon and how the water and sky seem to meet relaxes me.  I normally go alone but you were already there on the dock when I walked up.  Your back was towards me but I knew it was you.  I could feel your energy.  I went up to you and put my arms around you as we watched the waves crash, I never saw your face.  Neither of us said anything.  Higher Place by  Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike must have been playing from my radio because I remember hearing it in the background.  It was a very relaxed and comfortable feeling.  I hardly remembered the dream when I woke up but the feeling was still there.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about, because I feel peace when I think of him.  Somehow, I feel like our souls were always meant to be connected.  I want to feel that again.  I want to love and be loved like that.

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