Mixed Signals

Published October 16, 2016 by daisiesloveandpeace

In the last seven months, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any better at reading The Fish.  I think a large part of the problem is he really doesn’t know what he wants.  Or I don’t fit into his plans right now.  It’s quite obvious he cares about me, or he wouldn’t have kept me around for this long.  I also know he’s not seeing/or sleeping with anyone else.   So we are in this strange monogamous friends with benefits-ship.

Friday night, I hung out with H, C, and Glen.  We did dinner and a scary movie, then I went to the Fish’s apartment.  Earlier in the afternoon, I asked him if I was going to see him that night and he got all bent out of shape about it.  First, he told me that the way I asked him made him feel guilted into it.  Then he told me that he needed to see some of his other friends sometimes.  I told him I was sorry he felt that way about the way I asked, and I would be more aware of my phrasing in the future.  He then told me he was frustrated with something else and sorry he took it out on me.  While I was with H, C, and Glen, he told me he could use some company.  He really does make my head spin.  I went over around 11.  We caught up on a show that we’ve been watching, had a drink or two, and had really good sex.  I spent the night and slipped out early the next morning to go take care of the pups.

On Saturday, I told him I was trying to find a way to stream some football, because I’ve decided to cut the cord.  He told me I could go over and watch with him that night.  He’d been at a pool party all day drinking, so he was feeling rough by the time I saw him.  He laid in my lap for the duration of the game while I stroked his hair and rubbed his back.  There was no sex are anything, and I left when the game was over.  While I was driving home, I received this message from him, “Hey Daisy.  Hope you got home safe.  I really appreciate you watching the game with me and making me feel better when I wasn’t feeling so great.  It means a lot, and I think I’m too sarcastic in person for the full appreciation to come out.  So for real, thank you so much.”  I’m not going to lie, I teared up a bit when reading that.  That was the closest to emotional he’s ever gotten with me.

Then today, I was really horny.  So I started texting him that I wanted to lay in bed with him all day and play.  He told me he wasn’t feeling well still, but I should play with myself.  I told him it just wasn’t the same as him.  He then said  “I bet there are other guys who have a better cock than me that would be even more fun.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I told him I didn’t like when said things like that.  He apologized and promised not to do it again.  I don’t know if he was fishing for a compliment, but let us not forget what happened the last time I said something like that.

And the truth of the matter is there is always other guys.  I’ve had The Beast sending me messages almost daily.  If I wanted something right now, I could easily get it.  But I don’t.  All I want is The Fish.

I’ll see him again tomorrow because he asked me to pick him up from dropping off his car for repairs.  I was oddly happy that he asked me to do that, because it made me feel like he needed me.

I just wish he could be more open and honest.

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