The weather here is finally starting to get ever so slightly cooler. This time of year always seems to make you want to be paired off. I think it’s some combination of the cooler weather and the holidays. The need to be in a loving, committed relationship has been strong over the last week. I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather and overwhelmed between work and hopefully finally starting the rebuilding process on my house.
I’ve been needy. Very needy. And I don’t feel like my needs are being met.
The Fish has been flip flopping as much as ever. He goes from being very caring, and attentive to absent and cold hearted.
I’m ready to have someone to come home to, someone to take care of, and someone to take care of me. I’m ready to start a family.
I was supposed to see The Fish last night but I was feeling too under the weather to travel to him and he refused to travel to me. It hurt. A lot.
Today, I downloaded bumble again. I swiped left 10 times and thought that none of these guys would live up to The Fish, then deleted my account and the app.
We’ve been so stagnant and I’ve been accepting of it and patient, but I’m starting to feel restless. It’s been eight months. I want to know how this story ends. But I still hope that it never does.