the beast

All posts tagged the beast

Winter is Coming

Published November 13, 2016 by daisiesloveandpeace

The weather here is finally starting to get ever so slightly cooler.  This time of year always seems to make you want to be paired off.  I think it’s some combination of the cooler weather and the holidays.  The need to be in a loving, committed relationship has been strong over the last week.  I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather and overwhelmed between work and hopefully finally starting the rebuilding process on my house.

I’ve been needy.  Very needy.  And I don’t feel like my needs are being met.

The Fish has been flip flopping as much as ever.  He goes from being very caring, and attentive to absent and cold hearted.

Both the Beast and Sam have been very active through snapchat.  They make me feel wanted in ways The Fish has fallen short on lately.

I’m ready to have someone to come home to, someone to take care of, and someone to take care of me.  I’m ready to start a family.

I was supposed to see The Fish last night but I was feeling too under the weather to travel to him and he refused to travel to me.  It hurt.  A lot.

Today, I downloaded bumble again.  I swiped left 10 times and thought that none of these guys would live up to The Fish, then deleted my account and the app.

We’ve been so stagnant and I’ve been accepting of it and patient, but I’m starting to feel restless.  It’s been eight months.  I want to know how this story ends.  But I still hope that it never does.

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Mixed Signals

Published October 16, 2016 by daisiesloveandpeace

In the last seven months, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any better at reading The Fish.  I think a large part of the problem is he really doesn’t know what he wants.  Or I don’t fit into his plans right now.  It’s quite obvious he cares about me, or he wouldn’t have kept me around for this long.  I also know he’s not seeing/or sleeping with anyone else.   So we are in this strange monogamous friends with benefits-ship.

Friday night, I hung out with H, C, and Glen.  We did dinner and a scary movie, then I went to the Fish’s apartment.  Earlier in the afternoon, I asked him if I was going to see him that night and he got all bent out of shape about it.  First, he told me that the way I asked him made him feel guilted into it.  Then he told me that he needed to see some of his other friends sometimes.  I told him I was sorry he felt that way about the way I asked, and I would be more aware of my phrasing in the future.  He then told me he was frustrated with something else and sorry he took it out on me.  While I was with H, C, and Glen, he told me he could use some company.  He really does make my head spin.  I went over around 11.  We caught up on a show that we’ve been watching, had a drink or two, and had really good sex.  I spent the night and slipped out early the next morning to go take care of the pups.

On Saturday, I told him I was trying to find a way to stream some football, because I’ve decided to cut the cord.  He told me I could go over and watch with him that night.  He’d been at a pool party all day drinking, so he was feeling rough by the time I saw him.  He laid in my lap for the duration of the game while I stroked his hair and rubbed his back.  There was no sex are anything, and I left when the game was over.  While I was driving home, I received this message from him, “Hey Daisy.  Hope you got home safe.  I really appreciate you watching the game with me and making me feel better when I wasn’t feeling so great.  It means a lot, and I think I’m too sarcastic in person for the full appreciation to come out.  So for real, thank you so much.”  I’m not going to lie, I teared up a bit when reading that.  That was the closest to emotional he’s ever gotten with me.

Then today, I was really horny.  So I started texting him that I wanted to lay in bed with him all day and play.  He told me he wasn’t feeling well still, but I should play with myself.  I told him it just wasn’t the same as him.  He then said  “I bet there are other guys who have a better cock than me that would be even more fun.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I told him I didn’t like when said things like that.  He apologized and promised not to do it again.  I don’t know if he was fishing for a compliment, but let us not forget what happened the last time I said something like that.

And the truth of the matter is there is always other guys.  I’ve had The Beast sending me messages almost daily.  If I wanted something right now, I could easily get it.  But I don’t.  All I want is The Fish.

I’ll see him again tomorrow because he asked me to pick him up from dropping off his car for repairs.  I was oddly happy that he asked me to do that, because it made me feel like he needed me.

I just wish he could be more open and honest.

It isn’t over…

Published March 1, 2015 by daisiesloveandpeace

The last few weeks have been so busy that I haven’t had the time to sit and write, but boy do I need to!

Let’s go all the way back to Valentine’s Day weekend. The Unicorn and I went for a hike that Sunday. It was quite a nice day and it was the first time seeing each other after the whole friendzoning incident. It was nice to know that we really can be just friends without any drama. We even had the opportunity to pick ticks from each other’s bodies which I could have very much done without.  Luckily for me, I was off that Monday and Tuesday for Mardi Gras break(yay for living in South Louisiana!).  I spent those two days in recovery from the hell I put my body through. I was quite proud of myself though.

On that Monday, I received several text messages from Ron. He wanted me to come over for sex.  I tried to set him straight through text messages and even mentioned that I had given up on sex and dating. This did not work.  It eventually ended in me going to his apartment.  But not for sex.  I finally got a lot of things out that I had been holding in. And it was time to say goodbye. Hopefully the last goodbye. I blocked his phone number when I got home. He has no more hold on me.

Then there was last weekend. I spent the entire weekend with Glen, Kevin, and the Unicorn getting the house ready for it’s appraisal this last week.  It was exhausting, but I have to get it appraised to get it refinanced to get Ron’s name off of the mortgage.  It’s truly the last thing that ties us together.  I woke up Saturday morning to a text from the Beast that he had sent in the middle of the night the night before. It was just a simple “Hey what’s up?”. I figured he wanted some pics or dirty talk as he’s in a relationship and I am longer physically useful to him.  I didn’t respond and went about my day.  In the middle of the afternoon, he sends another “Hey” type text. I decided to respond this time.  Apparently he’s single again and wanting to see me soon.

So screw that whole no sex and dating thing. I could really turn anyone down. Anyone. The Unicorn could have walked in naked and I could have said no to him. There is just no way in hell I could say no to the Beast.  He’s literally the best sex I’ve ever had.  Who could say no to that?!?!

As always, we had scheduling issues, but I knew I would be seeing him soon. And that was all I could think about all week.

I finally saw him Thursday night. It wasn’t the best we’ve had, but it was still really good.  Somehow, he seems to have grown up over the last few months, even if it is ever so slightly.  We picked up right where we left off. Back to fisting and stretching. It felt really good.  He played with my ass for a little while as well. At one point, he had a dildo in my pussy and his fingers in my ass.  It felt amazing.  And then he fucked me.  My god, he could fuck me all day, everyday and I would be so happy.

So, the Beast is in a band. His band had a gig Friday night.  Realizing that I’ve never seen him outside of my house, I decided I would be in attendance Friday night. I just didn’t want to go alone and this is Glen’s weekend with his daughter. So for shits and giggles, I asked the Unicorn to accompany me.  He has full knowledge of who the Beast is and that we are back at that.  He agreed to come with me!

Friday night, Unicorn and I had a late dinner and then went to this little dive bar to watch the Beast’s band. The band was actually pretty good.  We each had a few drinks and played pool most of the time. When the band took a break, the Beast came and talked to me for a while and Unicorn made himself scarce.  It was kind of awesome and unexpected. The Beast was very intoxicated, so at some point I offered to take him home(mine) and bring him back to his car in the morning.  He said he would think about it. I was thinking that would be interesting as the Unicorn had also come in my car.

At the end of the night, The Beast went to a friends to crash on their sofa. And the Unicorn and I headed back to my place where he was supposed to get his car and go home.  That’s not what happened.  While walking to the car, I realized the Unicorn had not paced himself with his drinking. I had never seen him like that before.  He hung out of my sunroof the entire way home.  I told him that I wasn’t going to allow him to drive home like that I and I thought it would be best if he spent the night.  We got home and I got him to bed. I actually put on pajamas for a change and he stripped down to his boxers.  He laid down, and that’s when it started…..

He puked.

And he puked.

And just when I thought he couldn’t anymore, he was doing it again.  I have to say, cleaning up someones puke is not sexy and definitely made it easy to not try to have sex with the drunken man in my bed.  I think that finally was the last nail in the “just friends” coffin.

So the Beast is back and I’m getting over the Unicorn. Who would have thought?

Feeding The Beast

Published November 5, 2014 by daisiesloveandpeace

I’m a Grey’s Anatomy junkie. In the early years, there is a reference to “feeding the beast”. The beast being your sexual desire.

Last night, I fed my beast. Well, The Beast fed me.

This is going to need a little bit of backtracking as the last post I made about The Beast was me turning him down for an evening of fun because I had a second date with The Shrink.  The second date with The Shrink happened. He cooked me dinner at his place. We had sex. His oral skills are amazing. And then things got crazy for him as far as his schedule goes. So I haven’t seen him since. He’s been feeling under the weather, so I decided to take it upon myself to bring him soup a few nights ago. I’m not normally one to intrude like that, but I really like him and I wanted to make sure that he was okay. So I brought him soup. To the other side of town. After working a ten hour day. That was kind of a big deal. I feel like maybe I overstepped boundaries, because I haven’t really heard from him since then. I’m kind of giving up on that front.

Yesterday was a teachers’ in-service day, and it was boring.  Work has been pretty rough for so many reasons which I feel like I need a separate blog for.  So I did what all good teachers do: I went drinking with the other teachers as soon as our meetings were over. So I get home at about 4 with a little more than a buzz going.  I talked to Kevin(roommate) and decided the best course of action would be to continue to drink.  The problem with drinking, though, it that it makes me even more horny than I normally am. So I started going through my little black book. I hesitated with The Beast because he’s been short with me lately and I thought that the bridge had possibly been burned. I sucked it up and texted him anyways. And what do you know, he was available!

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The Beast vs. The Shrink

Published October 20, 2014 by daisiesloveandpeace

I met The Shrink last night. We had dinner and walked around a bit. It was very nice and low key.  I’m very interested to see where this one goes. I feel like I can be myself and it’s a wonderful feeling.  We had a sweet(hot) kiss good night and made plans to see each other again Tuesday.

Before making plans with The Shrink, I had plans with The Beast for tonight. Finally, getting the sex I have been craving.  Then last night happened. And my conscience happened. I cancelled on The Beast this afternoon. It was tough, but I think it was definitely the right choice.

Kevin(roommate) and I went out to dinner tonight. I explained that he nearly set of a nasty anxiety thing Saturday when he started cleaning.  I think I scared the poor guy a little, but it was nice to be able to talk about it.

So that’s where I stand tonight. My head is swimming. I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow.  It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited to see someone for something other than sex.